4 days ago
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There is an look my precocious begetter would use: “Avan enna periya pistava?” Literal translation: “Is helium a big pista?” Pista, successful colloquial Tamil, means ‘don’ oregon ‘big shot’. A almighty person. Appa had a rebellious streak. He utilized to say, “There are 2 kinds of people. Pistas (pistachios) and cockroaches. Pistas are fewer but look aft each other. The cockroaches are galore but are divided. Cockroaches are much loyal to 1 oregon the other pista than to different cockroaches. That’s why pistas will ever regularisation implicit cockroaches.” Growing up successful Chennai, that was my lone consciousness of the connection ‘pista’.
After I moved to Delhi arsenic a teenager, my knowing of ‘pista’ expanded. Every year, astir Diwali, a watercourse of visitors would travel location to conscionable Appa, bearing packages of nuts they insisted connected calling ‘dry fruits’. These typically had a premix of walnuts, almonds, cashew, raisins, and a shelled seed called ‘pista’.
A nutty rivalry
Over the years, I developed a tremendous appetite for roasted cashews. I ritualistically gorged myself connected them erstwhile I needed comfortableness food. But recently, it was brought to my announcement that my health, similar our economy, is going down the conduit and for overmuch the aforesaid reasons: neglect, idiotic choices. My mindless snacking — particularly the immense quantities of cashew I down — was ruining my gut.
“If you emotion nuts truthful much,” my gastroenterologist said, “switch to pista.”
“Why is pista better than kaju?”
“Less carbs, higher protein, much fibre,” helium said. “Also, having to ammunition each pista will dilatory you down, trim wide consumption.”
Thanks to 10-minute delivery, 3 packets of pista were waiting for maine erstwhile I got backmost from the gastro visit. I took Katta’s ex-cookie jar and made it my pista jar.
Joys of ‘laughing’ nuts
The gastro was right. The shelling added sizeable friction to my easiness of snacking. Nonetheless, transitioning from cashews to pistas proved easier than expected. My favourite were the ‘laughing’ pistas that revealed a spot of the kernel. They were casual to open. But determination were ever a fewer that wouldn’t unfastened up nary substance what. When I tried breaking the ammunition with a hammer, my table cracked, not the pistas. Those were immoderate pugnacious nuts.
For 5 days aft the switch, each went well. My calorie number dropped. I slept better. On the sixth day, arsenic I dipped my fingers into the pista jar, each I came up with were bare shells. The jar was inactive half-full. I emptied it connected the level and patiently sifted done hundreds of pistas. All turned retired to beryllium hollow shells. Not 1 kernel. Somebody had polished disconnected my pistas and enactment the bare shells backmost successful the jar. I was incensed. Who would bash specified an evil thing? Can’t a antheral adjacent eat pistas in bid successful this state anymore?
I confronted Katta. He denied immoderate wrongdoing.
“Who other could person done it?” I thundered.
“Ask grandma,” helium said.
My parent was diabetic. She had a weakness for each benignant of nut, including the Big One. But she, too, denied “touching” my pistas.
“Are you nuts?” she cried, indignant. “I don’t adjacent spell to your study.”
“But someone’s been eating my pistas,” I said.
“Ask his mother,” my parent said, nodding astatine Katta.
The responsibility successful our stars
That evening, I politely ventured to inquire Wife. “Do you, by immoderate chance, hap to cognize if anyone’s been eating my pistas?”
“Yes. I had a few.”
“You did?” I was speechless. “And the shells? Instead of dumping them successful the discarded basket, you enactment them backmost successful my jar? You did that?”
“The discarded handbasket connected your table is perpetually overflowing,” she said. “I’ve been telling you to bare them for years now. Anyway, I don’t litter. So, I enactment the shells successful the lone instrumentality disposable connected your table.”
I stood determination marvelling astatine how, magically, the full happening had go my fault. I knew amended than to prolong this conversation. So, I started hiding my pista jar. The lone problem: I don’t ever retrieve to fell it aft snacking. When I don’t, the adjacent clip I unfastened it, I find lone bare shells.
Sometimes, my fingers onshore connected a kind-looking pista, its rima parted ever truthful slightly, arsenic if it’s astir to archer you it’s Mann ki Baat. You look astatine its face, and you’re convinced there’s a juicy kernel tucked distant inside. You eagerly prise it open. But each you find is dust. It’s these duplicitous pistas that marque maine truly angry. But it’s a pista. Nothing I tin bash astir it. I americium conscionable a cockroach.
The writer of this satire is Social Affairs Editor, The Hindu.
